As days pass and years roll it doesn’t cease to suprise me when I tune into the news I hear of another terrorist plot to harm innocent civilians. It doesn’t shock me anymore. I think I’ve become unresponsive when they report the latest occurances in the world. I feel horrible that I have become this way. I know what they will say next in their reporting. “This is an outrage, we must protect our borders, end illegal immigration” and the one I’m already used too “We are on alert color yellow, orange…com’on is there a blue in there by any chance…let’s get real here. You know sometimes I feel we’re lab rats who are in science experiments. We can never completely be off-guard.  

When I watch the news and hear about these heinous acts I just think to myself.., “Be prepared for the reactions of the people when running errands”.  I have learned to expect some ignorant peoples’ stares and eye rolls and maybe a hateful comment that pops up when you least expect it. I particularly dislike that up-down look… you know which one I mean the one that reads on their faces “Let me make sure she doesn’t have any devices that are suspicious”… like what my Treo 650? Please. What can I say each day is worse than the last just as the Prophet (pbuh) mentioned. I see it happening before my eyes. The constant attacks of these hijackers that have hijacked our religion from its true message and significance. I am convinced and believe honestly that I’m living in the last days, and this isn’t a feeling that I’m comfortable with per say. I accept Allah’s decree and know that this is the generation I was meant to live in, and the good news is that I am also conscious to the fact that we will experience more hardships in this life the closer we get to the Day of Recompense.

It’s surreal though knowing that you as a Muslim are experiencing the events that were foretold over 1400 years ago. Women naked all though they seem covered. The natural disasters that Allah has sent to people of some countries. The corruption of man killing innocent individuals using the name of Islam. Authubilahi….this life is a trial on so many levels internally and externally. We encounter trials in our personal lives, trials of living in western society or a so-called Muslim country. People have forgotten to enjoin the good and forbid the evil one of the major traits of this nation that makes us stand out from the nations before us. We like to point the finger to President so-and-so  or Mr Prime Minister instead of first evaluating ourselves. No wonder I have become nonresponsive to today’s calamities.

I remember when I used to lose sleep wondering how I would handle the following day after a major bombing or terrorist attack. I’m glad to say, that my loss of sleep now-a-days has nothing to do with the world’s chaos. I have taken the initiative to educate myself, so I will be more prepared in handling questions and comments by people who see us as barbarians.  I guess another reason why I dont’ get all hyped-up about what I hear in the news. I have also accepted that all that we see in the media and around the world is also Allah’s decree. I know he said this would happen, and know that the Prophet (pbuh) mentioned that this religion will revert back to being something strange.

Each day that I live, I feel more as a stranger in this country and the world. Life is just a place where we are meant to earn our deeds for our permanent home in the hereafter. It’s calamities like the bombings in London, the attempted plot at the airport in Scotland, the suicide bombings in Palestine, Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and all this turmoil for the fight of so-called freeing the people and introducing democracy. Give me a break. I have learned to see passed government propoganda which suits only their personal agendas. It seems everyday that passes its just a tadbit escalated from the day before. I sometimes ask myself as I’m sure you have also, “What will happen next?” we can all speculate but Allah (swt) is the only one who knows for sure. I am aware of all that we hear and see with our five senses. I know that when I see another idiot blowing himself up killing  innocent people this sends a jolt within my body, it wakes me up and brings me back to reality. It shows me the trials and hardships that we all face during this life. My eyes have become unveiled and able to see that this life although has some comforts and luxuries isn’t my permanent home. I’m just a traveler who is passing by it. This road of life isn’t easy. The road to Paradise is one that is full of hardships and many tests.  We are all living in a world, in which violence has become a tangible fact for anyone, at any given time or place. I am aware that I may lose my life at any moment.

I get dumbfounded when I commit a sin. I jump and quickly say “Astaphrallah” (Oh God forgive me) because I know that my destiny has already been written out by God the Almighty and with that comes my day of taking my last breath. I don’t know when that will happen, and sometimes ponder while living in a sin will it be now? Will it be when I get in my car? When I’m taking a nap? Or sitting in a gathering with friends and family?

 So I have applied all these news updates and applied them to my life. I make time to constantly ask myself, “Have I been the best Muslimah today, did I ask Allah to forgive me for my sins today, and have I taken what I have learned in Islam and applied it into my life”?

These plots of terror, the codes for alert that we have all grown accustomed to nowadays are a simple reminder to us that we are not untouchable. Allah is able to take us out of this life at any moment. This is what keeps me grounded, the remembrance of death. The constant reminder that this life is nothing more than a mirage of pleasures, that cheats millions to its false luxuries.

The constant struggle we face each and every day is what proves that we are nothing more than just travelers of this world. We don’t become too attached  in the materialistic comforts, our husband, wives, and children.  The world will continue to detioriorate at the hands of man until the last day. So yes, there will be more trials and tribulations to encounter and to face head-on. So I guess this might explain my lack of response due to all the calamities we are facing today. We are travelers passing through striving to obtain as many good deeds as we are able to attain.

As Muslims we should be always prepared for everything that comes our way; whether its people’s attitudes, religious persecution, death, etc. We can’t lose focus. Some of us have made this world our permanent home, while others see beyond its accessories.

In the end, I really haven’t become unresponsive to worldy events. It doesn’t mean because I’m an American who lives in the United States I’m protected by these insane terrorists. It does remind me that I may lose my life at any given moment. How this will come? Allah knows best, but I do know that as long as I have another day I will strive to be the best ambassador for Islam. We are constantly re-assessing ourselves to become believers and allies of Allah. This journey is a constant struggle that isn’t easy. The road to paradise is one that has many hardships and may feel lonely at times. Islam will revert back to being something strange. So until then, I know that Alhamdulilah (Praises to Allah) that I have been given another shot at Paradise and another day to repent for my sins because there is no guarantee that I will see tomorrow.